Child custody mediation can be a challenging process for parents. While it aims to help you reach an agreement outside of court, several mistakes could derail your efforts.
Below are common pitfalls you might want to avoid during this crucial time.
Letting emotions take over
One of the biggest challenges in custody mediation is keeping your emotions in check. It may be natural to feel upset, angry or hurt, but allowing these feelings to dominate could hinder productive discussions. Consider:
- Staying focused on your child’s best interests
- Practicing active listening
- Taking breaks if you feel overwhelmed
- Using “I” statements instead of accusatory language
It might help to remember that the goal is to create a workable parenting plan, not to win an argument against your ex-partner.
Failing to prepare adequately
Walking into mediation unprepared could put you at a disadvantage. To avoid this, consider:
- Documenting your current parenting arrangements
- Outlining your ideal custody schedule
- Gathering relevant financial information
- Thinking through potential compromises
Being prepared does not mean being inflexible. It simply gives you a solid foundation from which to negotiate.
Other mistakes to watch out for
Beyond these major pitfalls, other errors could complicate your mediation process. These may include:
- Badmouthing your ex-partner: This could create a hostile environment. The other party could also misinterpret this as an attempt to alienate the child.
- Refusing to compromise: Mediation is about finding a middle ground. Stubbornness may lead to prolonged conflict.
- Bringing up past grievances: Focus on the present and future, instead of rehashing old arguments.
- Ignoring your child’s wishes: While the final decision rests with adults, considering your child’s preferences could lead to a more successful arrangement.
- Rushing the process: Mediation takes time. Trying to speed through it may result in an unsatisfactory agreement.
Avoiding these common mistakes could increase your chances of a successful mediation outcome. Consider seeking legal advice. An attorney could help you understand your rights, responsibilities and options.
The ultimate goal is to create a stable, nurturing environment for your child, even if you and the other parent are no longer together.
