Divorce mediation is a process where both parties work together with a neutral mediator to reach an agreement on various issues. In New Jersey, mediation is often required or recommended before heading to trial. What you say during mediation can significantly impact the outcome, so it’s important to be mindful.
Avoid making accusations
One of the key things to avoid in divorce mediation is making accusations against your spouse. Statements like “You always…” or “You never…” can escalate tensions and derail the mediation process. Try to discuss issues and concerns calmly instead of focusing on blame. Remember, the goal is to find a solution, not to win an argument.
Don’t bring up unrelated issues
Divorce is an emotional process and it can be tempting to air all your grievances during mediation. Bringing up unrelated issues from the past can distract from the matter at hand. Stick to the topics relevant to the divorce, such as property division, custody arrangements, and support. Keeping the conversation focused will help ensure a smoother mediation process.
Refrain from making ultimatums
Making ultimatums or issuing threats is another behavior to avoid during divorce mediation. Phrases like “If you don’t agree to this, I’ll…” are unlikely to lead to productive discussions. Mediation is about compromise and collaboration, not forcing the other party into submission. Instead of making demands, express your needs and concerns openly and be willing to listen to your spouse’s perspective.
Avoid discussing mediation outside the session
It’s also important not to discuss what happens in mediation sessions with others. Sharing details with friends and family, or on social media, can lead to unnecessary complications. Keeping the discussions confidential ensures that both parties feel safe to express themselves without fear of outside judgment or interference.
Moving forward with mediation
Divorce mediation can be an effective way to resolve disputes and reach a fair agreement without the stress and expense of a courtroom battle. Find a resolution that works for both parties and pave the way for a smoother transition as you move forward with your life.
